she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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