I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I deserve this hangover.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
