oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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