I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
