Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
This baby is an asshole
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
