You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
