drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
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