if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
