If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
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