covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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