I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Randomize