If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
