also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
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Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
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She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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