I only kidnapped one of them. chill
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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