I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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