he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
