You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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