She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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