Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
