Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize