it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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