I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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