Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize