This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Randomize
