drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Randomize
