she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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