if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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