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I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
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