Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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