is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
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I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.