it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.