He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
