you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
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