what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
