a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
