i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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