I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
