Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
