he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize