he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
