so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
