why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i think i have two assholes
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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