she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Randomize
