Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
