This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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