Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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