how can u be prego again
North Korea, Best Korea!
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
