so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
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