Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
