I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
