Umm I'm too high to move.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
