I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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