at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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