I don't remember. Are we still dating?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
