Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
My dick has a subreddit
I want to fling myself into the sun
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
