Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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