My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
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