I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize