My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
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